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-- by Matt Gardner Chapter
Thirty-Three Rivers: I'll use my unstoppable fusion powers to solve this mess!
Narrator Two: Rivers throws out four fusion balls, two of them hitting Enrique and Jonathan, and the other two hitting Evil Narrator and Rivers, himself. Evil Narrator: Wait! How did you…! Narrator Two: The fusion begins to take hold of the four, fusing Rivers and the Evil Narrator into one super narrator, and fusing Enrique and Jonathan into a giant Barbarian Battlemage Minotaur Smashy Smasher. Super Evil Rivers Narrator (SERN): The fusion gets suddenly nullified! No, it doesn’t! It stays just like it is! No, it DOESN’T!! YES it DOES!! Barbarian Battlemage Minotaur Smashy Smasher Enriquathan (BBMSSE): Ah! Such power! Genericus, you traitorous wretch, you are mine. Genericus: I’ll kill you in a minute. First, I’m curious. Where did this other narrator come from? SERN: Yea! Where did you come from, you…! No, it doesn’t matter!! Welcome back! DIEEEE!! BBMSSE: No time for talking, I’m going to destroy your face with my cannon arms! SERN: You have cannon arms!? Narrator Two: Yes, he has cannon arms. Genericus: Cannon arms…. But, where did you come from? Narrator Two: If you must know, the Council is always alerted when one of our narrators is…denarrated. They sent me out to take care of things. I should take care of that right now, actually. SERN: What do you mean?! You know what he means! No, tell me!! Narrator Two: Narrator came back. SERN: Noooo!!!! Narrator: Ha! I’m back! Narrator Two: I trust you can handle this. I’m going back. Narrator: Now, for some revenge. Where are you, evil narrator? SERN: RIGHT HERE!! No!! Narrator: SERN dies a horrible death. SERN: *gurgle* BBMSSE: What?! Nooo!! Narrator: That takes care of that. Genericus: Hm. Well, let’s get on with this, Enriquathan. Narrator: Heh, you think I’m just gonna let you two fight?! Screw that, I’m going to destroy you myself, Genericus! Narrator Two: The Council has instructed me to suspend your powers of narration due to an abuse of power. You are hereby merely an observer. Don’t make me come back again. Observer: Dammit! Genericus: Heh…. Enriquathan: Well, let’s get on with it. Genericus: Fine by me. ???: Not so fast! Observer: Ugh! What now?! Jordan: Did you forget about me? Observer: Yea, actually…are you that emo kid? Jordan: I’m metal now, ass. Observer: Ah ha…. Genericus: Do you have a reason to be here? Did you come to die, as well? Jordan: Riiight…. Actually, I came to kick the hell out of that damn Render. Where is he? Observer: You are so behind the times. He’s already dead. Along with everyone else, pretty much. Jordan: What do you mean, everyone else? Enriquathan: Yeah, Liaunde is dead, too. Jordan: What?! How?! Genericus: I’ll take credit for that. She was no longer of any use. Jordan: You freaking crap piece, I’ll chop off your eyestrings!!! Observer: …eh? Genericus: Fine, I’ll take you both. Let’s just get this over with. ???: You know, you people are really pissing me off more than usual with this. Observer: What? n00b: We were supposed to use MY plan to destroy Genericus! He killed MY tag-team partner, and this was going to be my chance for revenge! But I’ve been completely ignored throughout this entire episode! Enriquathan: He’s right. Oh well, let’s fight. Genericus: Hey, that rhymes. Jordan: Get out of here, n00b. This is MY turn for revenge. n00b: You can’t have your turn until I get mine! Jordan: Fine, you vampiric freak. I’ll take you out and then I’ll take out this Generic…guy. n00b: Bring it, bitch! Observer: Hold up. What’s to stop Enriquathan and Genericus from going at it while you two are fighting? Enriquathan: I’ve got it! Genericus: I’m predicting your idea to be stupid. We’ll go with my plan. n00b: No, DAMNIT. We will finally listen to ME!!! Jordan: What was that? I wasn’t listening. n00b: Grrrrrr!!!!! Which Gate Do You Choose? Tournament! Enriquathan: We’ll have a tournament to decide this! We will roll some 20 sided dice to decide who fights who in the first round! Bloodsplatter! Genericus: I’ll take you all on. Let’s go. LISTEN!! n00b: I have the greatest plan you will ever hear. Too bad you all suck and never listen to me. ROCKIN' BALLAD! Jordan: I will sing your asses off, butt gnomes.
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Matt Gardner {05-01-2006} |
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Past Editions of The Gates of Life: Chapter
32: Death Death Death! |
Evil Narrator: Not so fast, fool! I’ll just-
