GameCola: Captain Eric's Super Thumbs (5-2)

-- by Eric Regan

Greetings! Welcome to the newest edition of everyone's favorite GameCola masterpiece, THE THUMBS! As usual, I have a star-studded lineup all ready to go this month! Really now, some of these games are just so wonderful that they are for systems that I, personally, have never even owned! Well I know that HAS to have you uber-HYPED for this issue, so here we go!

Hogs Of War (PSX)

Hogs of War is one of those games that if you first play it well after its release date, you are probably never going to fully enjoy it. That's the way it felt to me. The graphics are PlayStation at its worst: bulky and awkward. Along with this are robotic-like character movements coupled with an atrocious control system—you are in constant battle against this game from the start.

The game itself seems pretty fun for the most part, and it has some fun weapons and tactics involved in it. I never got a chance to partake in its multiplayer offerings. It seems like one of those games that is insanely more fun when playing against others rather than just going through the normal missions. However, as much potential as it may have, its sight and controls are far too big of a drawback for you to get interested in it enough to take it any further.

Captain Eric's Super Thumbs Say... Thumbs Down.

Mega Man 2 (NES)

Hey! LOOK! It's Mega Man!

Captain Eric's Super Thumbs Say.. Thumbs UP

HAHA! Gotcha! There is plenty more to be said about this classic installment of a classic series! It, like Dragon Warrior, was one of the first games I ever owned. It is also one of the few games that I have played through more than once, because, well, nothing is more fun than pumping evil robots full of pellets. The gameplay, graphics, sound and pretty much everything is that like all other Mega Man games, so you know what you're getting there. You run around, you clobber robots of various shape and sizes, you save the world. Pretty standard videogame stuff, but it just never gets old!

Okay yeah, look in hindsight I really didn't have all that much to say about the game, but it's great, so deal with it!

Captain Eric's Super Thumbs Say... Thumbs UP!

James Pond 2: Codename: Robocod (SG)

So yeah, I love Mega Man, and this game resembles Mega Man. It also resembles countless Mario games, Sonic games, even Kirby games. But, do you ever think about why EA concentrates so much on sports games now? Well,
I have one answer: "gems" such as James Pond. While this game resembles all of the games I mentioned above, it manages to suck out every entertaining.

However! We do get something in the place of of anything FUN or ENTERTAINING: the same damned music on 90% of the stages. YAY! You too can drive yourself mad and thrust your own thumbs through your temples in a unsuccessful attempt to stop the pain that you will be suffering from the endless succession of six notes the makers of this game decided to bestow upon us! Yes, it really is this bad, and makes playing this game for any long period of time a real chore.

That probably should have been a sign to turn the game off right there, but I continued. It's a run-of-the-mill platforming game, but it's just so bland, with hardly any sort of customations or any alternatives to just running around and jumping. There are a lot of different items to collect throughtout your journey, however, they dont do much besides giving you more points, health or lives. There are a few other fun objects, but basically that's all you do. Two buttons ( forward and jump), and you're set. SET ON YOUR PATH TO INSANITY!!! Bwahahaha. Okay, it MIGHT not be that bad... but it is.

Captain Eric's Super Thumbs Say... Thumbs Down.

Spot Goes to Hollywood (SG)

SPOT! He's back in his second videogame, and yes even HE is asking why. When you first turn on the game it does a very good job of fooling you, because the game doesn't look all that bad. It defiantly looks better than you would expect from a Spot game. It is easy enough to move Spot around and jump around the various stages. Although if you had any ideas about shooting your... uh... whatever Spot appears to be shooting with any kind of accuracy well, GOOD LUCK! I had a very hard to figuring out how to make the shots go where I wanted them too. However, that wasn't really a problem, as I found taking out enemies isn't all that important.

The object of the game is to collect defend red spot tokens through out the levels, needing a certain amount to get to the next stage, and even more to get a perfect score. However, most of them are laying about, especially in the early stages, and only a few certain baddies even yield these elusive tokens. Besides the various items and post tokens, the levels are very barren. Now this is good if you just want to run around the digitalized world and jump around to your little heart's content. But if you had any ideas about keeping yourself entertained throughtout your adventure, well, you just are not in luck!

All in all, no this game is not good, but then again what would you expect from a game made a about a soft drink mascot? I'm sure its better than anything Chester Cheeto can come up with.

Captain Eric's Super Thumbs Say... Thumbs Down.

Radiata Stories (PS2)

Now this is a highly entertaining RPG, featuring one of the spiffiest characters you will ever meet: Jack Russell! He is quite a mix of annoyance and arrogance, and it's fun to make him a friend to all those he comes in contact with. Well except the assholes, but no one likes assholes anyways. The story is fun and interesting, and it even offers you two different paths to take, increasing it's replayabilty right there. There is also a massive amount of characters you can have join you and be in your party as well. Some of these are restricted by which path you choose, but still. There are 177 in all, and I dont care what game you are talking about; that is a lot of characters!

Other than the sheer amount of characters, the game has its own tweaks and adjustments to your standard RPG engine. You only keep track of the main character's armor, you select your own attacks and combos from a list depending on what weapon your using at the time, and it is very easy to switch weapons. Also the encounters aren't so random, as you can see the particular monsters and other things that you can attack or can attack you on your map before the battle sequence is engaged. You may also pick fights with almost every other character in the game at any time you want, so that's always fun as well. Other than the main story, getting all of the characters to join you is an adventure in itself! While it is quite hard and nearly impossible to get all the characters possible for your path, that wont stop you from wanting to try.

Captain Eric's Super Thumbs Say... Thumbs Up!

Well folks, that's about all I have to say for this issue. Of course you know by now that it WAS the masterpiece that I told you it would be! Perhaps one day I will find a truly enthralling and entertaining Genesis game. But for now,
it will remain as the system that I never really cared that I missed out on. Sadly enough.

Be sure to return to this happening spot next month for what WILL be the most exciting collection of words that you will ever lay your eyes upon! Big talk, but only because SUPER THUMBS truly is the best! Until next Month, ciao.

-- Eric Regan {02-04-2006}